Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Born Old

Hi Mom New Me
Pictures taken the day after I was born.

I was born old. Not old in spirit by any means. I, my friends am a permanent resident of Neverland. I mean physically old.

Ironically my body is so much older than my true age because I was early. I had big things to do and I wasn't going to waste any more time than necessary gestating. Unfortunately, there was a supply and demand issue between my brain and oxygen due to being ahead of schedule. Survival's always been my thing so no biggie, but I drew the walk funny card.

It's kind of like Sleeping Beauty most of what I got was a boat load of amazing, but you know there's one baby curserer at every party.

I didn't realize how "old" I've always been until freshman year of collage when we had to observe the way children and old people moved. When I watched an elderly woman come out the front door of a building, pause at the top of the front steps, find the railing, lean into the railing and cautiously lower her foot to the step. I saw myself. I move like an elderly person.

At the time I filed that under "interesting" and didn't think to much about. Then I got hit crossing the street, got pregnant and had a baby and generally started getting older.

I live in a body with faulty wiring. My brain relentlessly misinforming my muscles so that they ratchet down as tight as my frame will allow. I'm just along for the bumpy ride.

What will another decade or two mean to my joints, muscles, tendons used and abused by my wonky gait all this time...

My physical therapist in elementary school informed me in a mater-of-fact way that I would blow out my knees by the time I was a teenager. She was wrong-o I still have two functional knees. My horrible orthopedic surgeon when Miss Roo was tiny assured me with God like authority that my left hip would have to be replaced within the year, still got that too. Although, he was a quack in general and wasn't to be trusted (not that I knew that back then). There have been so many who thought they could "fix me", pray away the cerebral palsy, bulk me up, change me or ignore my limitations. Well meaning people can do be so misguided, it's a shame. We all know what they say about opinions, ha!

I remain cautiously optimistic, in spite of my fears, about aging. I remain me. I just keep moving forward. I keep adapting and lord knows, I keep aging...

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